How to Include Grandparents in Family Portraits

In forty years of photographing families across the Twin Cities, there’s a conversation I’ve had more times than I can count.

A family calls — usually a daughter, sometimes a son or son-in-law — and they want to schedule a portrait. And somewhere in the first few minutes, almost as an aside, they say it: “We really need to get Grandma and Grandpa in this one.” Not because it’s a special occasion. Not because anything has happened. But because something has quietly shifted in them, and they’ve started to feel the weight of how much time has already passed.

That feeling is accurate. I’ve seen what happens when families act on it — and what happens when they don’t.

The Portrait Nobody Gets Around To

Most families have grandparent photos. What they rarely have is a good one.

There’s the posed shot at a holiday party where the room was too dark. There’s the one from a birthday where Grandma’s eyes are closed. There’s the beach photo where Grandpa is wearing a fishing hat and everyone is squinting into the sun.

What most families don’t have is a portrait where everyone is actually still, actually together, actually present — lit with care, composed with intention, made to last on a wall rather than disappear into a phone camera roll.

I’ve been making family portraits in the Minneapolis area since 1983. The single most common regret I hear from families isn’t that they took a bad portrait. It’s that they never took one at all — not a real one — before someone was gone.

Why These Sessions Require a Little More Thought

Including grandparents in a family portrait isn’t harder. It’s just different in a few specific ways, and knowing them in advance makes the whole session easier.

Energy windows matter more than most families expect. In my experience, older adults are often at their best in the morning. A session that starts at 10 a.m. tends to go more smoothly than one at 2 p.m. — not because of light, but because of stamina. When I’m scheduling a session that includes grandparents, this is one of the first things I ask about.

Mobility shapes the environment. An outdoor session on uneven ground isn’t always practical when someone uses a walker or has difficulty standing for long periods. I’ve found that a well-arranged studio session — where everyone is seated close together — is often more comfortable for older participants and, honestly, produces more timeless results than most outdoor sessions anyway.

More people require more intention. Three generations might mean eight people in the frame. Four generations can mean fifteen. This is not something you hand off to a tripod and a self-timer. It takes an experienced eye to arrange that many people in a way that looks natural, keeps the focus on faces, and doesn’t let anyone disappear into the background.

These are all things I think through before anyone arrives. The families who leave the most satisfied are usually the ones who talked through these details in advance.

What Makes a Multi-Generation Portrait Actually Work

After four decades, I know what separates the portraits families treasure from the ones they forget.

Center the grandparents — in spirit, if not always literally. The session exists because of them. When grandparents feel accommodated rather than managed, when they sense that the pace and the environment have been shaped around their comfort, the whole energy in the room changes. Their faces relax. The grandchildren respond. That’s when the real portraits happen.

Keep it focused. An hour is usually enough. Sometimes less. I’d rather make two or three compositions that are genuinely strong than spend three hours chasing fifteen. The families who try to do too much in a single session usually end up with a lot of images and none that feel right.

Scope the session clearly before you arrive. A portrait of grandparents with grandchildren is one thing. A portrait that also needs to capture individual cousins, a full group, and separate headshots of the adults is a different project — and trying to squeeze all of it into one session rarely serves any of it well. I help families think through this before we begin.

Clothing That Holds Up Across Generations

Coordinating clothing across three or four generations is one of the questions I get most often. Here’s the approach that consistently works.

Start with what the grandparents are comfortable in. If Grandpa’s most comfortable in a collared shirt and slacks, that sets the register for the whole group. If Grandma prefers a simple dress or a soft blouse, that’s your baseline. Build the palette outward from there, rather than asking the oldest person in the room to adapt to what the grandchildren chose.

Lean toward classic and neutral. Jewel tones, creams, and quiet navies photograph beautifully and date slowly. Logos, words, and busy patterns fight for attention in a composed portrait. Simple clothing keeps the focus where it belongs — on the faces.

This sounds like a small thing. In forty years of looking at portraits, I can tell you it isn’t.

What the Session Looks Like When You’re Here

The families I work with come from all over — Eden Prairie, Edina, Minnetonka, Chanhassen, Wayzata — and multi-generation sessions have become one of the things I’m most intentional about.

I typically start with the full group and work toward smaller groupings as the session progresses. That way, the most important composition — everyone together — is made first, while energy is highest. If anyone needs to sit down or step out early, that image is already in the camera.

From there, I’ll do grandparents with grandchildren. I’ll do grandparents alone — because those portraits matter more than most families realize, and some come to understand that too late. I’ll do whatever arrangements make sense for your family.

And I move at the pace the grandparents set. That’s not a policy. It’s just how this works.

The last portrait of your parents is a thought that lives quietly in the back of a lot of minds. These sessions are how you put it to rest.

The Image That Outlasts Everyone In It

Here’s what I’ve come to understand after forty years of making these portraits.

The image you create today will eventually be seen by people who aren’t born yet. Your grandchildren’s grandchildren will look at it and see faces they never got to meet. They’ll understand something about where they came from. They’ll feel something about people they only know through photographs.

I’ve watched this happen. I’ve had grandchildren come into the studio and ask about a portrait on the wall — and I’ve seen the parent stop, and think, and have to find words for someone they loved. That portrait does that. It holds the story.

Before you come in, if you haven’t already had the conversation, I’ve put together interview prompts for older relatives worth sitting down with first. The portrait captures the face. The conversation captures everything else.

The time to make this portrait is when everyone is still here. Not at the next holiday. Not after the renovation. Not when the calendar clears. Every family that has waited longer than they planned to has said some version of the same thing: we thought there would be more time.

There usually isn’t more time. There’s just now.

Related Reading:

• The Last Photo You’ll Ever Take of Your Dad
• The Photos Your Grandchildren Will Never See
• Family Portraits — Dale Studios
• How to Organize Decades of Family Photos (Before It’s Too Late)

If you have a grandparent whose health has started to feel less certain, please don’t wait. Call us to schedule — this is exactly the kind of session we make time for.

The session itself is the easy part. The hard part is deciding it’s time. If you’re reading this, you’ve probably already decided. You can reach me at (952) 400-1020. I’m in Eden Prairie and I’ve been doing this since 1983.